Journal Entry: Sun Nov 8, 2009, 3:19 PM
Listening to: Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Reading: lecture notes
I just have to vent this out, I feel like I've been wearing this mask about university ever since September. Truth is, I am seriously stressed out, and I've been breaking down a lot lately.
As a commuter, I am having the hardest time I've ever had. I swear I waste at least 15 hours a week just on transportation and any days I get off, I have a full day of work. Because of all the commuting, I've been lacking sleep and the time I need to spend on homework is cut down.
The thing is, I can't quit work. The holiday season is coming up and I know that I need the money. I've been going on shopping rampages lately to forget about all these worries. It's this nonstop cycle, the more I work and the more I stress myself out, the more money I spend.
OSAP (student loans) aren't helping me out, I still didn't get my money.. and interest for my tuition fee is building up. Something messed up while I was on vacation in China over the summer, and I have made numerous calls to try to fix it up. It's not looking good right now..
Now my family is heading to Cuba for a week at the end of this month while I stay back. They refuse to take me with them because I need to "concentrate on school". Such bullshit, wasn't it my mom who pushed me so hard to get a job. So working practically 18 hours a week isn't interrupting with school? I just feel so lost right now, I feel like nothing in my life is right. I just want to fast forward past my exams and enjoy the holidays.
Sorry that this journal had to be so depressing, I just had to let it out.